Evaluating.
It's not that I want to turn cynical....but really, when your kindness that you extend gets trampled upon, you feel quite fed up. Everyone seems to tell lies, always assuming that you're too stupid to know that they're telling lies. Until you shout at them and tell them to stop playing stupid games because they are wasting your time because you have like 232784390 more cases waiting for you to attend to.
You feel terrible after shouting at them because you cannot blame these people for doing what they do. It's the only way they know how to adapt in a big-city from a small-town where they come from. I'm not being patronizing but there is really a cultural dissonance here.
After feeling terrible, your energy gets really sapped because no one likes to give a scolding to anyone. And you just want to crawl somewhere and sleep and leave the fire-fighting to someone else.
And so someone remarked that because of what I do, my political sentiments has been toned down. I admire friends who remain so steadfast in their political convictions and loyalty. It's nice to have a constant that you believe in. But at this point in time, I really. don't. give. a. damn. My priority is to pay off my loan. I cannot afford myself luxury of thoughts like "Is this really for me?".
There's just not enough energy to do anything else after 6pm.
